Cullen Chat
by xXMidnightEssenceXx
Summary: Random funnyish crap! Yeah I'm bored, have nothing to do. You might laugh, you may not... RANDOM! It's the characters from Twilight on IM, if u couldn't figure that out!
1. Un

***POST-Eclipse, PRE-Breaking Dawn, but Jake has imprinted (not on Nessie, obviously)!!***

**_VERY OCC!!!!!!!_**

**Cullen Chat**

Names:

**xXLambXx – **Bella

**VolvoVamp – **Edward

**Gone_Shopping – **Alice

**Alice's-Future – **Jasper

**:Grizzly: –** Emmett

**Beautiful*Rose** – If you seriously can't figure that out, it's Rosalie

**emmett_wuz_here – **Carlisle

**I_Have_My_Own_Isle!** – Esme

**Kewla-Dan-Wolverine** – Jacob

**Whisper2Me **– a girl named Whisper, Jake's imprint…

**TheNewtMan –** Mike

**HisGF'sBFF! **– Jessica

**BettaDanBella – **Lauren

**Angel-A –** Angela

**BenC416** **–** Ben

**JournalismGuy0212 –** Eric

_Gone_Shopping has logged on_

_VolvoVamp has logged on_

_xXLambXx has logged on_

_:Grizzly: has logged on_

**VolvoVamp: **Bella?

**xXLambXx: **EDWARD!!!!!

**VolvoVamp: **Why so enthusiastic?

**xXLambXx: **it's a CHATROOM!!!! U hve 2 B HAPPY!

**:Grizzly:: **LETS ALL TXT TLK!!!

**xXLambXx: **ROFLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Gone_Shopping: **roll on floor laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing &… laughing?

**xXLambXx: **Yupperoonie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**VolvoVamp: **What have you eaten today love?

**xXLambXx: **Well, U C, I found this tub of sugar…

**VolvoVamp: **U 8 a WHOLE tub of sugar?!

**xXLambXx: **only ½! Well then I got bored and 8 the other ½ …

**:Grizzly:: **so basicly your high on sugar?

**xXLambXx: **yessums

**VolvoVamp: **Bella…

**xXLambXx: **:S

**VolvoVamp: **what does " :S " mean?

**Gone_Shopping: **she's either sick or worried

**xXLambXx: **AFK!!!!!

_xXLambXx has logged off_

**VolvoVamp: **Alice!?

**Gone_Shopping: **away from keyboard.

_VolvoVamp has logged off_

**Gone_Shopping: **By

_Gone_Shopping__has logged off_

**:Grizzly:: **Hi Emmett!

_Gone_Shopping has logged on_

**Gone_Shopping: **sry, I 4got to tell u…

**Grizzly:: **Hey Emmett!

**Grizzly:: **Wanna go 4 a ride?

**Grizzly:: **sure Emmett!

**Grizzly:: **let's go!

**Grizzly:: **I'm an Emmett dude, in a human world… being a vampire, its vamptastic!

**Gone_Shopping: **…

**Grizzly:: **how long have u been here?

**Gone_Shopping: **too long…

_Gone_Shopping has logged off_

_:Grizzly: has logged off_


	2. Deux

_xXLambXx has logged on_

_VolvoVamp has logged on_

**xXLambXx: **Edward?

**VolvoVamp: **Yes, luv?

**xXLambXx: **wats with the name…?

**VolvoVamp: **wats wrong w/ it?

**xXLambXx: **it's weird…

**VolvoVamp: ***SIGH*

_VolvoVamp has logged off_

_Bella's_Fiancée has logged on_

**xXLambXx: **NOOOOOOOOO! PPL DON'T KNOW YET!!!!!!! CHANGE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Bella's_Fiancée has logged off_

_BS's_BF has logged on_

**xXLambXx: **MY INITIALS R "B.S."??????????????????????????????

_BS's_BF has logged off_

_Bella's-Boyfriend has logged on_

**Bella's-Boyfriend: **how about now?

**xXLambXx: **well…

**Bella's-Boyfriend: **u got any ideas?

_**a few minutes later…**_

**Gangsta_E.: **yo.

Yo.

Yo.

Its ur homie Eddie in da hiz-ows.

Word.

**xXLambXx: **…VolvoVamp was cool…


	3. Trois

**Chapter 3**

_:Grizzly: has logged on_

_xXLambXx has logged on_

**:Grizzly:: **HAHAHAHAHAHA…. ahh, funny times…

**xXLambXx: **Hey Emmett, watcha laffin bout?

**:Grizzly:: **ok, I filled out this thingy and look!!:

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Emmett Cullen

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: Emmeezy!

3. YOUR THUG-RAPPER NAME: E Cizzle

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: Black Grizzly

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: Banks Forest

I put forest cuz we don't really live on street, but in a forest

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: Culemrts

7. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: Green Blood

8. YOUR ARAB NAME: Mlaohal

9. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: Abigail Ashford

10. YOUR GOTH NAME:Black Mr. Hamster

OMG U SHUD TRY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**xXLambXx: **ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, no.

Mr. Hamster?

**:Grizzly:: **He's my imaginary guinea pig!

**xXLambXx: **ooookay…

sooooooooooooooo

whos ur fave rapper?

**:Grizzly:: **Cali Fornia! **(Flo Rida!!)**

**xXLambXx: **who?

**:Grizzly:: **U no, he sings the songs Salt, Left Square, & High? **(Sugar, Right Round and Low…)**

**xXLambXx: **nope, never heard of him…

**:Grizzly:: **what about D-Rain? **(T-Pain)**

**xXLambXx: **umm, no

**:Grizzly:: **Big Dwayne?** (Lil Wayne)**

**xXLambXx: **no

**:Grizzly:: **DJ Valid??** (DJ Khaled)**

**xXLambXx: **no

**:Grizzly:: **Nins?** (Mims)**

**xXLambXx: **no

**:Grizzly:: **B.Y.?** (T.I.)**

**xXLambXx: **no

**:Grizzly:: **Ekon?** (Akon)**

**xXLambXx: **no

**:Grizzly:: **Warria Guy Inform'those-people** (Soulja Boy Tell'em)**

**xXLambXx: **EMMETT JUST SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**:Grizzly:: **Jeese, P.M.S. much?

**xXLambXx: **uhg…

_xXLambXx has logged off_

**:Grizzly:: **what DOES P.M.S. stand 4, period mood swings? **(my BFF Gen once said that…)**

**~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:**

**Here's the real quiz-thingy, put ur answers in the reviews! :)**

**1. YOUR REAL NAME: **

**2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus eezy):**

**3. YOUR THUG-RAPPER NAME (first letter of your first name, first two letters of your last name unless of 2nd letter vowel, then just first plus izzle) **

**4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fave colour/color and fave wild animal): **

**5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (Middle name and current street name): 6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (The first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name): **

**7. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): **

**8. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of your siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): **

**9. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (both parent's middle names-order by gender): **

**10. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets) **


	4. Quatre

Chapter 4

_HisGF'sBFF! _has logged on

_BettaDanBella_has logged on

**HisGF'sBFF!: **Hey Laur!

**BettaDanBella: **change ur name

**HisGF'sBFF!: **wait, wat??

**BettaDanBella: **change. ur. name.

**HisGF'sBFF!: **Y??????

**BettaDanBella: **ur talking bout Swan, right?

**HisGF'sBFF!: **uhhh, yeah? So?

**BettaDanBella: **and I am…?

**HisGF'sBFF!: **….um…. better than Bella?

**BettaDanBella: **YESSS! So change it!!!

_TheNewtMan _has logged on

**TheNewtMan: **Heya girlies.

**BettaDanBella: **uhm, we are not _girlies_ we are grown woman.

**TheNewtMan: **_UHM_, sensitive much? What is it? PMS?

**BettaDanBella: **get a life, Newton

**TheNewtMan: **says the girl who obsesses over a hate for another girl for getting the dude she wanted which I don't frankly get.

**BettaDanBella:** _What_?

**TheNewtMan: **neva mind…

_xXLambXx _

**xXLambXx: **Hey guys.

**BettaDanBella: **So, where's Eddie-Pooh? Left u for someone who's actually cool, or pretty, or smart, cuz if he's looking for someone like that, tell him LAUREN IS HERE!!!!

**xXLambXx: **Ummmmmmmmmmmm, noooo…. (Is she taking medication?)

**BettaDanBella: **I DON'T NEED MEDS!!!!

**TheNewtMan: **Ooohhhh-kay… so where is he Bella??

**xXLambXx: **Oh, he's out hunting….

**TheNewtMan: **_Hunting?_

**HisGF'sBFF!: **hunting?

**xXLambXx: **Nooooo, I meant _hiking_, sry, I'm really off 2day…

**BettaDanBella: **Off what, _your meds_???!!! Ha!

**xXLambXx: **………..

**HisGF'sBFF!: **…

**TheNewtMan: **_……?_

**BettaDanBella: **uh, I g2g, Jess, remember our discussion?

**HisGF'sBFF!: **right!

_HisGF'sBFF! _has logged off

**BettaDanBella: **way 2 make it obvi.

_BettaDanBella _has logged off

_J.E.S.S. _has logged on

**TheNewtMan: **J-E-S-S?

**J.E.S.S.: **Oh, it's my initials, Jessica Elizabeth-Sarah Stanley.

**TheNewtMan: **Ohhhhh, that's………. stupid.

**J.E.S.S.: **Ur _face_ is '_stupid_' Mike!!!

_J.E.S.S. _has logged off

**xXLambXx: **That was sorta mean, mike…

**xXLambXx: **_xXLambXx _has logged off

**TheNewtMan: **God is every1 PMSing 2day?

**TheNewtMan: **What does PMS even mean? _Period mood swings_?

**xXLambXx: **no.

**TheNewtMan: **I thought u logged off!

**xXLambXx: **no, I just typed that.

**TheNewtMan: **Oh.

_xXLambXx _has logged off

**TheNewtMan: **I'm a Newton dude, in a Cullen World, ohhh, luvin Bella, is so sad! I can ask her out, but she'll just no, I take meds, for depression…..

_**HAHA THAT CHAP WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO POINTLESS BUT I PROMISE NEXT WILL BE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!! CAN I GET MY 10**__**TH**__** REVIEW ON THIS?????**___**please???????????**


	5. Cinq

_xXLambXx has logged on_

_Angel-A has logged on_

**xXLambXx: **Hey Ang!

**Angel-A: **Hi Bella

_BenC416 has logged on_

**BenC416: **ANGIE!!!!!

**Angel-A: **BENNY!!!!!

**xXLambXx: **…

_J.E.S.S. has logged on_

**xXLambXx: **JESSY!!!!!

**J.E.S.S.: **huh?

**xXLambXx: **yeah, idk

_TheNewtMan has logged on_

**J.E.S.S.: **hey mike

**xXLambXx: **Oh, hey Mike

**Angel-A: **Hello!

**BenC416: **WASSUP?!

**TheNewtMan: **i feel harassed…

**Angel-A: **Y?

**xXLambXx: **Is it us?

**J.E.S.S.: **omg!

**BenC416: **WHAT DID WE DO? NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

**TheNewtMan: **no, well yeah, wats ur guys' probs? ur all in my face, all at the same time!!!!

**xXLambXx: **geez! fine then!

**J.E.S.S.: **we just won't talk to u then!

**TheNewtMan: **no i don't mean that, i just feel um pressured? yea i guess i cud use that word…

**xXLambXx: **so ben wat made u get that name??

**BenC416: **OH WELL I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE + MY NAME IS BEN CHENEY + YEARBOOK + AND MY BIRTHDAY IS APRIL 16TH!!! AT LEAST, THATS WAT I PUT ON MY SPU APPLICATION

**TheNewtMan: **seattle pacific university? is that where ur goin?

**xXLambXx: **umm, y r u talkin in all caps?

**TheNewtMan: **seriously? u guys r just gonna ignore me?

**BenC416: **OH MY KEYBOARD IS BROKEN SO I CANT TURN OFF CAPS LOCK

**J.E.S.S.: **haha

**Angel-A: **LOL!

**BenC416: **YEAH I'M GETTIN A MAC SOON RIGHT NOW IM STUCK W/ A WINDOWS XP

**J.E.S.S.: **haha x2

**xXLambXx: **XD

**Angel-A: **sry g2g 2 work

**xXLambXx: **where do u work?

**Angel-A: **that photo n art store in Port Angeles

**xXLambXx: **cool bye

**Angel-A: **c ya

**BenC416: **BYE

**J.E.S.S.: **l8r

_Angel-A has logged off_

**J.E.S.S.: **i shud get goin 2, bi

_J.E.S.S. has logged off_

**xXLambXx: **yeah, bye 2

_xXLambXx has logged off_

**TheNewtMan: **so ur goin to SPU?

_BenC416 has logged off_

**TheNewtMan: **:|

**TheNewtMan:** who am i talkin 2??

_TheNewtMan has logged off_


	6. Six

_JellyBelly has logged on_

_I*Know*What*Your*Thinking has logged on_

_PixieStix has logged on_

**JellyBelly: **Hey Edward!!

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking: **Hello, love.

**PixieStix: **Hey hey!!!!

**JellyBelly: **OME, have we ALL changed our names??

**PixieStix:** OMG, ya!!

**JellyBelly: **AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**PixieStix:** !

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking: **Uh, 2 questions: 1) What does "OME" mean? And 2) Why r u so excited?

**JellyBelly: **1) "Oh My Edward" 2) ISNT IT AN AMAZING CO-INKY-DINK?

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** 1) I'm flattered, 2) No, statistics show that most teens change their chatroom names at least once a-

**JellyBelly: **BLUH!!!!

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** What?

**JellyBelly: **CHIKIN BUTT!!!

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** Why-

**JellyBelly: **CHIKIN THIGH!!!

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** …

**JellyBelly: **stupidover- protective vampirewhowon ' tchangemeintoa vampiretoowhoreallysucks intwodifferentways butisstillatotal loseranddoesn' t deservemebutweluveach othertoomuchto leaveandhisnameisreally 'Smedward' saywhat?!!?!!?!?!!?!!??!!???!??!!?!?!? **(A/N sorry i had to put a few spaces in there otherwise fanfiction deletes half of the words!!!!!!!!!! what the hell!!!?!??!!!?!?)**

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** Um, what?

**JellyBelly: ** aah!!! puhchaha!

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** ??

**JellyBelly: ***EXASPERATED SIGH* i said: "stupid over-protective vampire who won't change me into a vampire too who really sucks in two different ways but is still a total loser and doesn't deserve me but we luv each other too much to leave and his name is really 'Smedward' say what?!!?!!?!?!!?!!??!!???!??!!?!?!?" and u said "what?" and i laughed and u were like "??" and so I explained it to you!!

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** oh

**PixieStix:** XD

_BettaDanBella has logged on_

**BettaDanBella:** hey, Eddie-Pooh

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** …my names Edward

**BettaDanBella:** R u sure it's not… Sexyward!??!!!?!?!?!

**PixieStix:** haha

**JellyBelly:** omg

**PixieStix:** lol

**JellyBelly:** hahahhahaha

**PixieStix:** THAT WAS LIKE THE WORST LINE… EEEEEVVVVVVVVEEEEEEERRRRRR!!!

**BettaDanBella: **(poutz lip) Eddie deir bein mean to me!!!

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** …ok.

**BettaDanBella:** (cryz) waaaaaa y wont u luv may!!!!

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** u do no that it wud take less time to type 'me' rather than 'may'

**BettaDanBella:** ;(

_BettaDanBella has logged off_

**I*Know*What*Your*Thinking:** ………

**PixieStix:** …..

**JellyBelly: **…………………………………………………………

**JellyBelly: **CHIKIN BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	7. I'M SORRY

Dear Reader,

I know, you must hate me. I promised months ago I would write during summer. Summer ended like two weeks ago. I am sorry. It just turned out to be busier than I thought. I was planning to write today (Thursday 9/9/10) or this weekend, but I just can't right now. This is basically why:

_A few years before I was born, my parents got my brother a nice cat. His name was Furball. Sometime after I was born they got a pretty little Persian, her name we already Ellie, and we didn't change it except I sometimes call her "Princess" or "Baby". I didn't know Furball too well because was I was three or four years old, he was hit by a car. :(  
Since he was my brother's cat, the next cat we got became my brothers. When my parents told me it was _his_ cat, I said: "Fine, then can Ellie be mine?" My mom said "sure" thinking it wouldn't make a difference. I decided to spend all my time with Ellie from there on. She was a very nice cat, so she didn't mind, and she acted like she loved me, too. When I moved for the very first time, to a whole new country, when I was nine, she became my best friend. She usually sleeps in my room, unless I have to sleep in a different room for some reason, then she sleeps there, too.  
Recently she hasn't been eating so we took her to the vet, I was scared. She lost three pounds in two months. The vet said it was probably just a kidney and gave her some medicine. She didn't get better. Last night the vet called my parents. My little girl has a tumor on her lung and there is nothing they can do. We have to put her down _tomorrow_ because she might not make it to Monday. She has tried to eat a little bit of food today but she just couldn't do it. She can only breathe through her mouth now.  
I read most Persians live to be seventeen years old, so I always thought I would have more time with her, and would be able to handle her death better if I was older, but I guess not now. She was one of the sweetest cats I ever met, and I can't remember not ever having her. I will miss her sooo much, but I just keep telling myself "life goes on"._

So I hope you all understand why it will be hard for me to write my stories right now, but I promise I will try to soon.

Love, Lexi


End file.
